I’ll try not to make this too long or too sappy. I could easily do so. I know you’re in a hurry to be an adult and I’m in a hurry for you not to be. But, 18 is special. It’s a new era. So, I wanna share my love, some things I’ve learned and my hope for you.
You are the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. You are and represent the greatest love I’ve ever known. The pride and joy you bring me and brought my father as a grandpa are immeasurable and have been the best moments of my life.
You’re so much better than me and that’s the way it should be. You’re smarter, academic, athletic, diligent, better looking, frustratingly independent, way more talented and you have and are developing more skills than I ever will. Your sense of humor has always been ahead of its time and one of my fav’s. Hold on to that. The worst moments in my life have been when I’ve lost mine; taking myself and life too seriously.
We’re adults way longer than we’re kids. It isn’t fair. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to maintain a healthy supply of childishness in an otherwise boring, depressing, adult world.
Happiness can’t be contingent on others. We all must negotiate with sadness and find ways to love, appreciate and challenge ourselves before we can be the best version of ourselves for others. Strive for selflessness, but leave enough space for yourself and don’t be afraid to lean on folks who care about you and can help.
Although my faith in organized religion has waned with loss and unfairness, faith in God and representing something larger than yourself is very important.
Most cliches and idioms like “The grass is always greener on the other side” are right. Some that standout to me at turning points in my life are, “Never discuss politics or religion,” “Love is blind,” and “You can’t please everyone.”
Our family has been brutally reminded of our mortality far too much, lately. I hope you’ll value the time we have left together better than I ever did with my dad. By comparison, we might only have another 13 years left on earth, together. I don’t write this to be macabre or for any other reason than to impress upon you how unpredictable life is and how important it is to take a deep breathe and appreciate every moment we have together as a family and as a father and son.
All a parent can ever hope for is that he gives you everything you need, mostly what you want and hope that it’s all enough for you to lead a better life than his and hopefully the best one. It’s a parent’s job to be skeptical and steadfast with rules and expectations. I never understood my parents until I became one. I’ve found that I rarely, fully understand anything until I find myself in the same position. You and I were best “buddies” when you were little. Teenage years can take its toll on relationships, but like my father and me, I hope adulthood will bring us closer than ever before.
When you need something, tell me. When you want something, ask me. But there never has to be a reason to simply enjoy time with one another.
There’s so much I wanna say, but I’ll leave it here, for now and always, with I’m proud of you and I love you, buddy,
Dad
P.S. – I was asked once to rate the top five roles I’ve played. Since “all the world’s a stage and all the men and women merely players…”
- Father — “‘Father,’ to God himself we cannot give a holier name.” — William Wordsworth
- Husband to My Best Friend — “Doubt thou the stars are fire. Doubt that the sun doth move. Doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love.” — William Shakespeare
- Teacher/Mentor — “The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.” — William Arthur Ward
- A Selfless Friend — “In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’” — Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
- Everything Artist — “If you are not doing what you love, you are wasting your time.” — Billy Joel (All Billy Joel songs are right.)